‘We left the sector and careered across the choose’s automotive’ and 21 extra dressage bloopers

Dressage is the image of concord and magnificence — aside from the occasions when it’s not. Right here, 21 Horse & Hound readers recount their hilarious tales of when issues did not fairly go to plan between the white boards…

1. “The top of our check went: halt, salute, shake head, hold shaking head, bridle swinging within the breeze (pictured). I had no clue what to do apart from collect it up and amble in the direction of A, then bounce off with my horse Crimson Cell, or Sir Crimson to his associates, wanting fairly happy. One choose even commented on my check sheet how calm he was. I used to be glad to not be eradicated, and got here fifth.” Laura Eaton

2. “I took my home-bred four-year-old to his first dressage competitors, and ‘canter at A’ turned ‘buck at A’. I misplaced each stirrups, my hat tipped ahead and Dougal belted off. Unable to see the place we have been going, we left the sector and careered around the choose’s automotive. One way or the other, I managed to search out one stirrup, shove my hat again up and re-enter the sector. I scrambled by way of one thing that approximated vaguely to the check and after I halted at X, the choose and her scribe have been doubled up in laughter — so I dropped my reins, held up my palms and shrugged. It appeared extra becoming than a salute.” Catherine Robinson

3. “My pony as soon as trotted down the centre line straight previous C and caught his nostril right into a plate of sandwiches on the choose’s desk.” Alison Job

4. “I made a decision to enter my four-year-old ex-racehorse Mr Hill (Billy, pictured beneath), in an intro class. He was so chilled out he didn’t care concerning the white boards or dressage markers or the scary choose’s field. Smiling away about remembering my check and the way nicely Billy was going proper to the tip, we halted at G, I saluted the choose, and actually out of nowhere Billy determined to salute too. I used to be nonetheless smiling and the judges beloved his salute.” Emma Marshall

5. “My horse Olena hated dressage and was trying to get to the ‘good bit’ of the BE90. We have been doing the dressage on grass, and it hadn’t occurred to me to make use of studs (I did study my lesson), so whereas doing a fairly unbalanced 20m potato, aka circle, in canter she slipped and fell at X. Then she sat there for some time refusing to stand up — she was unharmed, simply disinclined to do any extra dressage. I used to be mortified, not simply to have fallen off, however that my horse was now taking a nap in the midst of the sector with all of the opponents after us questioning how on earth there may very well be a maintain heading in the right direction for dressage! We have been really allowed to complete the check and, following a radical vet verify, to finish the occasion.” Jo Parkes

6. “I travelled to Bury Farm, Bucks, from Edinburgh for the British Driving Golf equipment dressage to music championships a number of years in the past, when my horse was badly spooked getting into the primary area. Poor startled Onyx bolted and jumped the white boards and flower pots — and we discovered ourselves within the area standing in entrance of the choose at E. Whoops – it wasn’t fairly the dramatic entrance I had been planning.” Sarah Johnsen

7. “Because the earlier competitor completed their check at my first Space Pageant, I used to be allowed to stroll across the exterior of the sector. As I did so, my horse Harry’s tail brushed on of the plastic bushes adorning the sector. He leapt into the air, then spooked on the viewers, jumped into the sector over the white boards, and at last unseated me, leaving me in a pile on the ground. He then trotted as much as the opposite competitor who had simply halted on the finish of her check. Fortunately, as I hadn’t technically entered the sector, they let me get again on and we completed second!” Hannah Burrage

8. “As a teen I used to be midway by way of a prelim check on my pony Minstrel and every part was going nicely. Then he determined to throw in certainly one of his particular bucks. I slid straight down his neck, and on the way in which down, I by some means managed to hook my thumb by way of his headpiece and take away his complete bridle. I don’t know who was extra shocked: me or everybody else watching. However I tacked Minstrel again up, acquired on and carried on with the remainder of the check. I saluted to the choose, gave my pony a giant pat and left the sector calmly. I made all of it the way in which to the trailer earlier than bursting into tears!” Sophie Irvine

9. “A few weeks in the past on the British Dresssage summer time music championships, I did a gorgeous freestyle check. My transitions have been spot on to my music modifications, I used to be grinning from ear to ear, up the centre line, salute, huge pat for my wonderful pony… Then I heard the bell ring — I used to be dealing with the flawed means and the judges have been sitting behind me! I’d turned up the centre line the flawed means…” Sarah Hayter-Sharpe

10. “A few years in the past I entered my 18hh Shire/Clydesdale/thoroughbred, Maisie, into two prelim exams. There was a brief break between the 2, so I slackened my girth and went for a stroll across the warm-up. Sadly I forgot to tighten my girth earlier than the second check…  We have been going nicely till the 20m circle when my saddle and I slowly slid round to Maisie’s facet and gravity ultimately took maintain. The choose ran over to verify I used to be alright and assist me remount. We then carried on and completed our check.” Alison Dummer

11. “In our music check on the Horse & Hound Pageant of Dressage at Sheepgate, my horse took large exception to the hog roast. He determined he couldn’t probably transcend P in the direction of it, and that upwards was the best choice! Pressured to retire I then confronted the acute embarrassment of being unable to get out of the sector (and all of this to the tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight)!” Lesley Wheatley

12. “Once I took my teen to his second ever dressage present we entered the sector, went down the centre line and that was that! He didn’t wish to dance so plonked his ft and wouldn’t transfer additional than 10m, no matter what I did. Ultimately the choose was laughing as I laughed, shrugged and saluted my so-called check. ‘Wants extra miles on the clock’ and ‘nicely tried’ have been the feedback, with a fairly dangerous mark subsequent to it.” Madeleine Moon

13. “I used to be as soon as doing a prelim dressage check with my pony, who’s a cheeky chap. He spooked simply as we had began the check and his foot went by way of one of many wood dressage boards. It was caught — fortunately he’s a relaxed pony and after seeing he was not injured, my Dad and the present organiser ended up sawing the wood board off his hind leg! After checking he was unharmed — and gathering fairly an viewers — we went on to finish the check and completed third!” Hollie Blakeston

14. “I’ve myself slightly airplane spotter; he’ll watch planes and helicopters! Once I first acquired him simply over two years in the past I had no thought about his little passion. We have been competing for our native driving membership within the space dressage competitors, and coming down the centre line to halt. Simply as we acquired to X the British Crimson Arrows flew over in full formation, and my horse stopped lifeless and caught his head within the air to observe them fly over.” Demi Davis

15. “I had nobody to take care of my youngsters so I took them out to Discipline Home, and instructed them to remain within the café as I may see them from the indoor area. As I began the dressage check my daughter got here out of the café — I gave a her a stern look and shouted “again within the café!”. The choose’s remark was ‘disturbing entry’ — however we nonetheless acquired a seven!” Julie Barber

16. “I had realized the check but it surely went utterly out of my head, regardless that a sort particular person known as for me. All I needed to do was get to the tip and get out of the sector. Crossing the diagonal, I heard the caller say “and present some medium trot strides” — and realised I used to be nonetheless in canter. The choose rang the bell and acquired out of the automotive, however I used to be so determined to complete the check that I ignored her and stored going. I don’t know who was extra traumatised: the poor caller who learn the check completely, the choose who needed to mark the final two actions standing on the automotive door, or me.” Elizabeth Rushton

17. “Having efficiently accomplished a dressage check for as soon as with none main dramas, I relaxed as we moved off on an extended rein after the salute. At that time the choose stood up and pulled again the sliding glass window within the choose’s field. My pony teleported left. I ended up mendacity on the bottom on my again wanting up on the choose, who mentioned ‘oh…sorry…was that my fault?’” Jane Sanders

18. “My horse was a jumper, however I misguidedly did a dressage check on him. Cantering down the lengthy facet, I felt him immediately setting himself proper to leap the hedge, which was the boundary on the brief facet. I couldn’t persuade him to not bounce it. The judges known as me again and prompt I ought to persist with leaping.” Jackie Bell

19. “Competing at native indoor dressage championship, I used to be extremely nervous and there was a giant silent crowd of native riders watching. Because the bell rang to begin, I trotted down the lengthy facet and my horse farted very loudly — echoing across the area. I heard the booming voice of my coach saying ‘Oh! Poor Rebecca, she suffers so badly with competitors nerves!’ The group collapsed into laughter — as did I.” Rebecca Jackson

20. “I had virtually accomplished a pleasant novice check on my cheeky colored pony, Patch. As I got here to halt on the centre line, Patch, completely with out warning, determined it was the proper time to get down for a roll. I managed to get her up mid roll, jumped again on, saluted the choose and left the sector with a really crimson face! Fortunately the choose had a way of humour to match Patchy’s, and we acquired a 4 for the halt, with the remark merely saying ‘rolled’.” Claire Hazeldine 

21. “Once I was younger I attended a neighborhood unaffiliated dressage check on slightly gray pony known as Dinky. The proprietor was calling the check for me and at A I commenced a 20m circle in trot with the intention of cantering left earlier than X. As I requested for canter Dinky did an enormous buck and despatched me flying. The proprietor swiftly gave me a leg-up and I commenced the motion once more from A — the identical factor occurred once more. The third time, the bridle got here off with me! By that point there was fairly a big viewers gathered and the choose then popped out of the field to say that she thought it was time to go away the sector.” Katie Rutter

And a bonus story from H&H’s former dressage editor…

“Throughout a check on my extravagant Anglo-Arab gelding, Toby, certainly one of my contact lenses acquired dislodged simply as we set off throughout the diagonal in prolonged trot – his social gathering piece. Unable to see correctly, and to evaluate how distant the intermittent white boards forward of us have been, we sailed straight out of the sector at M and virtually made it to the boundary fence. The choose known as after us, ‘Oh do come again!’…” Polly Bryan

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