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Friday, September 20, 2024

Why I Despise Seagulls: A Story of Humiliation


There are various issues in life that convey pleasure: sunny seaside days, the odor of contemporary espresso, the laughter of pals. After which, there are seagulls. These feathered pals have a particular place in my coronary heart—proper subsequent to stepping on a Lego barefoot and stubbing my toe on the bedframe. Enable me to share with you two traumatic experiences which have cemented my deep-seated aversion to those audacious avians.

The Crêpe Disaster

It was imagined to be a pleasant class journey, a day of carefree enjoyable with pals. We strolled alongside the picturesque seaside, the aroma of freshly made crêpes wafting by way of the air. Naturally, I needed to indulge. As I stood in line, the crêpe vendor, with a realizing look, issued a stern warning: “Be careful for the seagulls.” I chuckled, naively dismissing his warning. How dangerous might it’s? (imagining tiny dove-like birds that may very well be shooed away with a mild hand gesture)

Crêpe in hand, I turned to rejoin my pals, solely to really feel a sudden rush of wind and the inexplicable pressure of two home cat-sized seagulls swooping down like feathered missiles. Earlier than I might react, they snatched my crêpe, leaving me empty-handed and bewildered. The laughter of my pals echoed round me because the seagulls feasted on their ill-gotten acquire. The humiliation was profound, rivaled solely by a childhood incident the place my canine, in a second of mischief, urinated on a plastic plant in the course of a crowded purchasing heart.

The Fehmarn Fiasco

Just a few years later, I discovered myself on a seemingly peaceable journey to Fehmarn with my uncle. We had been at a bus cease close to the seaside, having fun with the ocean breeze whereas we waited. Abruptly, our tranquil second was interrupted by piercing cries of seagulls. These weren’t simply any seagulls; they had been the native gang, territorial and aggressive.

They started to circle us and their shrill screeching escalated into an outright assault. It appeared as if we had invaded their territory they usually had been decided to drive us away. We tried to defend ourselves, however the gulls had been persistent. They got here nearer and nearer, their beaks snapping simply inches from our heads. In a determined retreat, we left the bus cease and sought refuge additional down the street, leaving the bus cease to their feathered overseers.

As we fled, I couldn’t assist however assume that this aggressive hen conduct was the worst doable solution to deal with vacationers. As an alternative of welcoming guests, these gulls had been the self-appointed gatekeepers, ensuring nobody stayed too lengthy of their sandy realm.

The Audacity of Seagulls

Apart from their penchant for public humiliation, what really irks me about seagulls is their brazen audacity. They screech with the quantity of a rock live performance, ensuring everybody is aware of that they´re round. They loiter with the shamelessness of uninvited friends, all the time prepared to grab meals or assault an unsuspecting pedestrian. Their persistent presence is a continuing reminder that nature will be as annoying as it’s stunning.

To sum it up, seagulls are usually not simply birds. They’re flying brokers of chaos, decided to show on a regular basis moments into scenes of slapstick comedy. So, the following time you see a seagull, beware. Behind these beady eyes is a hen able to disrupt your day. Belief me, I communicate from expertise.

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